Love is the answer sounds trite but it s true

It’s all about love. It may seem trite to say, but its true. Love is where it’s at.

What do you want to do in life? It goes easier with love in your heart.

Want better relationships, or a better family life? Make sure love is in your heart.

Trying to do a better job at work? Do it with love.

Trying to make a difference in anything? Start by finding love.

Is there pain in your life that needs mending? Love is what heals.

Are you lonely; still looking for that special someone? Love will find a way.

In a world of pain and anguish, of seemingly endless problems and crises, love is so often forgotten or overlooked. In times of national crisis does anyone advocate love and forgiveness? And how often do you, when faced with interpersonal conflict, remember to keep love in your heart for the person you are facing?

This, of course, is not to say that love alone will solve all problems. But it is to say that all approaches to any problem will always resolve quicker and easier and will lead toward healing when love is consciously present.

Violence does not stop violence; it only breeds more violence. Period. The scars born of violence do not go away; rather, they fester and return in kind.

Love dissipates violence. Not always immediately, but always eventually. This is why the most powerful advocates for peace are the most vocal advocates for love. We need only look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who both advocated nonviolent protest and loving the enemy, to see that armies may be conquered and systematic repression can be stopped with the use of long-term campaigns of love, kindness, and forgiveness.

Again, this is not to say that love alone is a panacea, a magic pill that cures all. It is only to say that all methods and plans for positive change will always work better when there is an undercurrent of conscious loving energy.

Love is the one thing that is universally revered as being good for us all, and yet, with tragic consequence, it is so often ignored as a technique for change. Indeed, finding and keeping love in our hearts is the only way to consistently promote and effect healing, on both a personal and a national level.

It is fear that drives us to violence, as individuals and as nations. It takes courage to look beyond that fear and to consider that forgiveness and acceptance are necessary elements in any healthy relationship, whether it’s between two people or between two cultures. Fear pushes away; love brings together.

Love is the universal element that can be used in any situation where positive change is needed. It is not the only element, but is the element that can be used anytime, anywhere.

Love is the answer.

You make me feel

Do other people make you feel things?

Do they make you feel happy or sad?

I’m curious. How do they make you feel this way?

Do they say, “Hey, here’s a tin of sadness.”

Or maybe they say, “Ahh, you need a bucket of happiness. Hold on, I’ve got one here you can have.”

Can you find happiness or sadness on the supermarket shelves, pre-packaged and ready to go?

Shopaholics amongst you would argue that you could; however I would say you can’t.

We often rely on other people to “make” us feel a certain way. We rely on them to do something, say something, be something in order for us to feel happy. If they don’t do what we are expecting them to, we get upset, sad and hurt.

In short, we often attempt to control other people in order to control how we feel; that is, our emotions.

And when we do this, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because we can’t control anyone else. We cannot force anyone to do anything or assume they will.

There is just one person we control; ourselves.

People don’t make us feel certain emotions. We choose to feel them. We decide to react in a certain way. We make assumptions about what people mean. We leap to conclusions.

No one can give you a tin of unhappiness, or a bucket of joy. These things are not physical items that can be passed from person to person. They are intangible items that exist only in ourselves.

In fact just the other day I was at a wedding. I told one of my friends how wonderful she looked and how much I liked her outfit. She leapt to the conclusion that I was being sarcastic and chose to be offended by what was a genuine compliment.

Had I even been being sarcastic, she could have chosen to be complimented and replied with a, “I’m glad you like it” and felt better about herself.

There was a guy I knew when I was younger. He was short, balding, spotty and he had been short changed in the looks department. Yet whenever we went out to bars, he’d wander up to any pretty woman and start talking to her. If she turned him down, he’d shrug his shoulders and continue.

I don’t think it ever even occurred to him to feel bad about these rejections. He’d just smile and say, “Your loss” and move on to the next one.

Believe it or not, each of you are in control of yourself and how you feel. You can choose to feel anyway you want. Right now, you could choose to feel happy; or I am sure you could choose to feel sad. Just by thinking about it, you could change how you feel.

It’s almost magic isn’t it?

So what about choosing how you feel when you are interacting with other people?

The vast majority of people run on auto-pilot. They allow their body and mind to more or less get on with it, not worrying too much about the programs that are running or the condition of it. It doesn’t interfere with them too much so they allow it to get on with it.

It’s like watching all the cars driving around a city and not realising there is someone inside controlling them.

Most people have forgotten there is this “person” inside of them controlling them.

If you choose, you can take back control of how you feel and stop relying on other people to meet certain conditions.

When you go to the office and someone says, “Good Morning” to you, you can choose to grumble and mutter, “There’s nothing good about it.” Or, you can choose to reply in kind and say, “It’s a fantastic morning.”

That is, you can choose to feel bad or choose to feel good.

Which do you prefer?

Realise that you are the only person who can make you feel anything and stop allowing the people around you to make you feel bad. Decide to feel good and enjoy yourself.

If someone turns you down or rejects you, “It’s their loss” or something similar.

If someone says insults you, “Poor thing, must be confused” or something similar.

Decide to take back control of yourself and your life and to stop being on auto-pilot. Choose how you are going to feel instead of allowing other people to choose for you.

It costs nothing to smile

I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Come on people, it costs nothing to smile.

I must admit, I used to be one of the ones who walked around in a depressed state. I had many things on my mind, many things I was not happy with, I used to feel so sorry for myself. Even when I write about it now, I laugh about how pathetic I used to be.

Things were about to change however. At the time a new employee joined the company where I worked, his name was Stuart. Now this may seem cruel but Stuart did not have a lot going for him. I won't go into details but lets just say I did not feel jealous of his life. I became quite good friends with Stuart and we would go to lunch together. I would meet him in the canteen at 1pm and would be waiting in my gloomy state of mind for him to arrive. Arrive he certianly did, always with a beaming smile on his face. We would sit down and talk whilst eating our lunch and he never had a negative word to say. When he talked, he talked with passion, about sports and films. One day it dawned on me, if Stuart (who from what I know of him, seemingly has nothing) can always be positive, happy and smiling, why can't I?

This was the beginning of a new era in my life. An era of being positive, appreciating what I have got and more than anything else, plenty of smiles.

Can you say yes to happiness 11 practical steps you can take to make it really happen

Think about it ... every single thing we do is intended to make us happier.

And yet sometimes we get diverted and do things that actually move us away from this goal.

We all have the potential for genuine happiness. There is no gene or DNA marker that determines who will be happy and who will not. We make choices throughout our lives, and the result of all these choices combined, determines our level of happiness. Make the right choices and happiness can be yours.

Here are just a sampling of some of the tactics we can employ in an 11-point roadmap to help guide us toward genuine happiness:

1. Look For The Positive In Everything: There is an old saying that nothing is inherently good or bad—what makes it one or the other, is merely your reaction to it. Find the positive and you will be happier. Those who soar against all odds, do so because they look at the positive that could come out of their situation, how ever bad it may seem to others.

2. Accentuate The Positive: We all grow up with a “positivity imbalance”—the result of society’s norms and rules being based on restriction and punishment more than approval and reward. From a young age we are taught what we must not do instead of what we may do. Even in day-to-day life, there is more negative influence that positive. Luckily you can work to improve the balance. Celebrate the positive and work to get more of it. When you achieve something, congratulate yourself! Look for things you find uplifting, that make you happy. Get more of that! At the same time, reduce your exposure to negative input, whether it is the daily news, or people you don’t feel good around. You know your buttons…make sure the positive ones are pushed more than the negative.

3. Practice Good Selfishness: When we were young we were taught that putting our interests before those of others is wrong. This is particularly true for women, many of whom sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to help others achieve theirs. It is also common in the corporate world where the good of the company is considered more important than the good of the individual. It is good to help others, yet we should have boundaries to protect ourselves from being manipulated or abused by others. You are important, and if you don’t look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, you cannot expect anyone else to do so.

4. Listen To Your Feelings: All feelings are good. Every feeling occurs for a reason: it is delivering a message. Sometimes that message is pleasant, other times not. Our tendency is to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings, often through smoking, drinking or drugs of one kind or another. When you feel bad, avoid distracting yourself, and identify the reason—there is some need not being met.

5. Give Of Yourself: The more you give, the more you receive. There is probably no scientific study proving this to be so, but unconditional giving is hugely rewarding. It seems that the more of yourself you give, the greater the thrill and uplifting effect on your psyche. Help the needy. Give time if you can. Give anonymously, even if you lose the tax deduction!

6. Make It Happen: You have the ability to make things happen using your mind. Top sports stars, and business people use it, and so can you. There are many ways of doing this; one of the common methods is to use visualization—getting a picture in your mind of whatever it is that you want to happen. It does not actually have to be a visual picture; it could be a feeling, a smell, a sound, or any combination of the senses. Imagine finding the perfect parking near the entrance as you arrive at the supermarket or mall … the sky is the limit, but persevere! We are not used to utilizing this tool, so it takes practice.

7. Accept The Things You Cannot Change: We resist things we don’t like, and often expend a tremendous amount of energy on this resistance. Whilst this can be good, and has resulted in tremendous advances through history, we should work to understand those things we cannot change, and then move on. Rather use the saved energy on something more worthwhile and productive. This is not to say that you should complacently accept anything. If you truly desire change, you should work towards that change; but spending time worrying about something without actively working to change it is unproductive and damaging to your wellbeing.

8. Take Responsibility For Your Choices: Everything that you do, or don’t do, is because of choices you make (or don’t make). It is easier and convenient to blame outside causes for things that go wrong in life, but your life is the sum of all the choices you make along the way—sometimes that choice it to let somebody else make a choice on your behalf. If you tend to blame other people or things, it may be scary to take responsibility for what happens in your life, but it is really quite liberating because instead of seeing yourself as an effect of outside forces, you realize you are the cause of everything good you achieve. Don’t abdicate responsibility for your life.

9. Schedule Regular “Self Time”: Spend some time analyzing where you are in life, your strengths and weaknesses. How can you turn the latter into the former? Think about your views on everything from your job to global warming and the existence of aliens—then work out why you feel the way you do. Is your reasoning sound? The better you understand yourself, the better you understand the world.

10. Make Time To Meditate: We spend almost all our time thinking of the past or planning for the future. We seldom spend time in the present. It has reached a point where, for most of us, it seems impossible to keep our focus on what is happening right now. Your meditation could be formal meditation or prayer, but it could be as simple as merely focusing on each breath as it goes in and out for five or ten minutes, dismissing past and future thoughts as they arise—and they will!

11. Remove Your Limitations: When we fail, usually the reason is simply because we don’t believe we are able or worthy of whatever it is that we fail to achieve. Most often, this belief is actually false; the result of negative programming received since childhood. The truth is that most of us are able to do most of what we really want to do … you just have to believe. The best way to start is with small things, working your way up as you notice the limits dissolving.

The more successful you are at assimilating the concepts and processes described in these eleven points into your life, the more genuinely happy you will be, and the happiness will last!